An Update to: What do you wish you knew when you started writing?
Q&A With Shay Every Other Sunday
A previous version of this post appeared in May 2019.
This is an update to a blog I wrote two years ago on the same topic. I have since acquired a bit more experience in the writing world in the last two years since my debut YA novel Fractured was published, and even my book of poetry Bleeding Flowers was published since I first wrote this. So, I thought I’d reflect on if I still find what I wish I knew when I started to be true.
Q: What do you wish you knew when you started writing?
A: There are many writing “rules” that I learned along the way, and it wouldn’t be practical to have known them all or learned them all at once. So, in terms of this it’s not like I wish I knew them when I started writing. I guess that would have been nice, but there wouldn’t have been much of a place to go from there. I’ve become a better writer as the years go by and there’s always room for improvement. I’m realizing that will probably always be the case and I’ll always think I could have written something better as perspective changes over time. So, learning to deal with that will be something I’ll have to figure out.
When I last visited this subject I wrote that when I had first thought about writing as a career, I thought if I put in the hard work and improved my craft, that it would be enough. I was so wrong. This is still entirely true, and I feel it even more now that I have published my debut novel. I wished I knew just how hard it was to go about publication, and even after being published now I wished I knew how difficult it was to navigate the book world and feel relevant. I knew there would be rejection when I started but I never imagined it would be so much or take so long. The process and journey is different for everyone, and for some authors it simply takes less time to get their books out into the world with “success” whether they be independently published or traditionally published. There isn’t really a wrong path because movement in any direction has to bring results, even if it brings the knowledge of a particular path not being the right approach. Hopefully everything that takes place over the very long course of getting started and establishing oneself will matter down the road. I have heard many times in the writing industry (and most industries) that you have to fail and that failing is actually a good thing because it means you were trying. “Failure” is still a tough concept for me. I didn’t know how hopeless it could feel and that I would lose interest in my writing because of this, so I wished I could have learned the persistence and how to adjust my mindset and expectations so that I wouldn’t lose writing for periods of time. I haven’t been writing much lately other than poetry and content for websites and work. The ideas never stop flowing for me but I get to points where I feel such resistance to writing and I just want to get my ideas down and start on projects that I actually feel excited about, but something holds me back. It’s another added challenge and I have finally realized that a writing career will never get easier no matter what point you are at. I think I tend to unconsciously perpetuate the idea that doing nothing is the cure to failure, even if I clearly know this isn’t true, somehow it’s what occurs. So, I need to learn to be more comfortable with “failure.” What is failure really, anyway?
I used to write because I needed to, but for a while now I have become crippled by the outcome and I lost that. I recognize that it isn’t about the agents and publishers and social media following or even the amount of readers, but even though I recognize it, the immense pressure I put on myself weighs on me and I get way ahead of myself rather than letting the process unfold. I know I have to work extra hard to hang onto my desire to write for me. That’s what I wish I knew when I first started out and I don’t think the sense that writing was always firstly for me was strong enough. I wrote because it was my voice. I’m selective mute (read more about that here) and writing was the only way I could express myself because I couldn’t speak at all in certain situations when I was younger, and even now I don’t feel comfortable speaking, so I draw confidence from writing. That’s for me, and it’s quite necessary, so that’s what needs to come through. No matter the outcome, the readers, the reviews, and feedback—writing is for me.
Even though I said in my first point that there’s always improvements to be made in terms of writing quality, I still cringe when I discover some of my older writings. But, at least I was writing, right?
What do you wish you knew when you first started in your field?
